I'm so lucky i have you..

I'm sorry you had to be my test case..

Thank you for helping me be a better person :-)

Things about relationship

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

Sedikit teguran..

Haah.. Hari ini diawali dgn sgt gila!
Gw ada kuis jam 8.15, dan tebak gw bangun jam brapa???

Jam 8 sodara2, yak jam 8, delapan, D E L A P A N !

Astagfirullahalaziim.. Lgs ganti baju, ga pk mandi, brgkt ke kampus..

Spanjang perjalanan gw brusaha zikir & istighfar smbil baca2 bahannya & sarapan (sirkus d pkknya :-D) ,,

dan tnyata ttp telat (iyalah), gw nyampe kelas kira2 jam 8.25, ga boleh masuk & kt bpknya kl mau ngomong nanti abis kelas, jam stg 10..

Hhh... Gw sempet mondar mandir ga jelas, when it come to mind, i should go to God..
Jd gw mutusin u/ dhuha di mesjid,, dsana gw minta ampun, ini mungkin teguran dr Allah, krn mmg ud 2 hari ini gw telat subuh.. Astagfirullahalaziim..

Gw mohon ampun, dan sadar kalo hub sm Tuhan ga boleh dianggep lalu,
you cant take God for granted!
Lo bner2 harus mgikuti aturannya, dan mjauhi larangannya dgn sungguh2..

Kalo ud gini gw malu minta bantuan lagi sm Allah, i dont think i deserve it.. Hix.. But i pray for God's forgiveness and wisdom..

I cried on my sujud, thinking how ungrateful i was,,
i prayed for God's forgiveness, cause that's the most important thing..

Setelah tenang, gw mnunggu kelas slsai smbil baca2 bahan,
when the time came, gw disuru ke ruangan bpknya,
dan gw bilang aja sjujurnya, gw telat bangun..
Bapaknya rada kcewa kyknya ngedenger alasan gw,
tp mau gmn? Ms gw bohong?
Ooo no no, i won't break another rule..

Long story short, he gave me another chance,
not by taking the quiz,
but by doing some sort of assignment,
still don't know what it is cause he said to wait for another friend, who's also absent, to come..

Hhh...
Subhanallah walhamdulillah wa laa ilaa ha illallah hu Allahu akbar..
Gw masi dkasi ksempatan!
Terimakasih banyak ya Allah...
Allah memang paling baik, i'm so sorry i've let You down,
i promise i'll try not to ever dissapoint You again..
Hope i could keep that promise for the rest of my life, Amiin..

Now i'm trying to continue my day,,
Thank You God once again..
*balik ke rumah, mandi dl :-D

*seriously, learn from my experience,
never take God for granted, cause God don't need us,
we need God. Period.

You may think it's unfair..

You may think it's unfair..

If it's about anything but this, it maybe is unfair..

But if there's one thing i must hold on to the rest of my life, this is it. It's principle. And i can't and won't compromise about it..

I'll try not to make this any harder, but so you know, i'm not changing my belief, ever.


-you gotta have something to held on to-

terabaikan...

wah, sejak cerita2nya lewat plurk, blog jadi terabaikan.. hehe..

http://www.plurk.com/user/DissaPibo

-Tuh kan, postingan ini aja ga penting :P

current Googling topic..

lagi penasaran sama lagu2nya Katy Perry nih,





gokil2 gila..
liriknya itu lho..


"You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you P.M.S
Like a bitch (chick)
I would know
And you over think
Always speak cryptically
I should know
That you're no good for me"
- Hot N Cold




"I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it"
- I Kissed A Girl



and one more :





"I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused
That nobody understands you
I’m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
I’m so angry cause you’d rather MySpace instead
I can’t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than…"
-Ur So Gay


hakakakak..
for girls only nih..


-telat ga sih gw? ga lah ya? :D

Jera a.k.a Kapok

"salam hangat u/ cintamu,
aku yang kandas dan patah hati,
biarlah orang memandang lemah,
aku tak mau bercinta lagi..

Engkau yang dulu pernah kucinta,
namun terlanjur kau bersamanya,
dan kau terluka oleh cintanya,
kini kau hadir ku sudah jera.."
-Jera, Agnes Monica

this goes out to you,
yea, you, should i mention your name out loud?

I know what you're trying to do, eventhough it seems like you don't even know it.

Sorry pal, the train's already leave.
So stop yellin' at the machinist.

Can i suggest you to stand by your own feet once in a while.

don't need to bounce around all the time.

Take your time,
enjoy life,
enjoy love.

kalo jodoh ga kemana kok, don't push it too hard..

Perut "Sampah"

haduuh..

Perut gw isinya "sampah" smua ni kyknya..

He..

Bukan apa2, abis makannya junk food mulu sminggu ini..

Not that i'm not grateful or anything, gw brsyukur bgt, ms bs makan.. Alhamdulillah..

Cuman kan kita hrs mnjaga nikmat badan sehat ini dgn sebaik2nya..

*na, trus knapa makan junk food mulu Dis?

Keadaan memaksa, tman..

Halah, ngeles.. He..

Libur Lebaran kali ini...

....seru sekali..

banyak jalan2nya..

mulai dari Sabtu 27 Sept 2008 :
ke rumah Inyik, main kembang api..
yang ini memang acara mingguan sih,,
tapi krn tumben2an pake foto2, ya di upload saja :)




trus Minggu 28 Sept 2008
Bukpus bareng (sebagian) kurusetra..
di Sushi Tei, Senayan City,
seru2,, makan2, trus ke Timezone, trus ke TGA..





trus Senin 29 Sept 2008
Nonton Laskar Pelangi sama tmn2 fasilkom,
di bioskop PIM 2..
minta tolong fotoin sm mas2 baik :)




Selasa 30 Sept,
jalan2 cari baju.. yang ini gada fotonya, he..
mulai nginep di rumah inyik..



Rabu 1 Okt,
Idul Fitri!!! Mohon maaf lahir batin..
Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin..
abis halal bi halal, tidur ampe jam 5. haha.. :p
Fiera ikut nginep bareng..


Kamis 2 Okt,
niat nonton Laskar Pelangi lagi sama T.Pretty, Fiera & Nisnos,
eh keabisan tiket, gile, rame banget deh PIM..
jadinya nonton Awake..
yea.. Jess Alba, Hayden C, play nice, i dont quite like the story though..


Jumat 3 Okt,
Makan siang di Satay Khas Senayan, Kemang Square,
sama Inyik, O.Alink, Omar & Emir,, oya, sama Fiera
Trus nonton Laskar Pelangi (lagi??, ha..)
kali ini sukses, walau dapetnya yang malem,
sama keluarganya O.Alink, sm Fiera jg..
Ibu ikut nginep juga..


Sabtu 4 Okt,
balik dari nginep..
I'm gonna miss this view..




.
.
.
.

ha.. what a nice holiday,
I spent much time with my big family, felt nice.. :)
Alhamdulillahirabbilaalamiin..
Thank You Dear God..
.
.
.
.
.
. but umm....


tugas2 gimana ya?

HAAA... kapan gw ngerjainnya???

:D

Sneakers-holic -- Gagal

See..

What a unique way to say "you do not need another shoes just yet, Dis.."
He..

Thank You Dear God,
You've saved me from an unwise use of money..

Sepatunya ga ada ukurannya semua...

Haa.... :D

Sneakers-holic

someone please put down those sale sign already!


How many shoes do i have to buy?

*Halah, gaya lu dis, br beli satu jg.. He..






my foot look nice :)




Tp serius, ngiler ni gw ngliat sneakers2 itu bertengger dgn cukup terjangkau, huhu..










*beli ga ya?? Mumpung libur ni.. Hmm..

Another simple bliss

Do you know how good it feels to shalat berjamaah?
seriously, when you pay close attention to it,
it's beyond AMAZING,
it's,, Subhanallah deh..

You know, that warm feeling just soothe you in an indescribable way
you just feels safe, comfortable, warm.. it's so nice.
Subhanallah walhamdulillah walaailaahailallahu Allahu Akbar!

even though in my situation, it's hot,
the sweat that come off when you're praying to God,
when you surrender yourself to The Almighty,
just make you wanna be close to God even more...

it's beyond amazing,
Subhanallah.

I can't put another word to describe it,
you should try it yourself

I'm shiver when this thought came out,
do you shiver when reading this?

Btw, it's Ramadhan again! yay!
happy shaum ya guys.

Next!!

1:15 AM - 300808

ha,
right now I'm eager to see my life change,
I don't really like the way some things are.

Lookin' forward to see the other page,
I wanna click the remote control, press FF,
I wanna yell "next!"

oh well,
i guess i may have to be patient,
perhaps God have another plans for me,
like they said, "Everything will be beautiful when the time's right"

yea,
right now I'm like waiting for the next show to start,
and wishing when it does,
it's gonna be one heck of a show (hopefully in a good way)....

Watch your mouth!

one day, after a long & tiring afternoon,
I sat on a chair, just to take some rest,
not wanting to make conversation with anybody,
not wanting to even speak to anybody,
cause I'm freakin' tired and so (as I thought) everybody else.
There's only a couple of guys in the room,
and everyone was as tired as me.
it was a long day for everybody...

then came one man,
with big grin in his face, trying to (i guess) be cheery and friendly,
well at first that's fine,
he was trying to make conversation with me i guess,
but he did it in a very annoying way,
he started asking inappropriate question,
I'd been trying to keep my cool as the annoying question continues,
he didn't seem to get it when i lamely trying to avoid him and his question,
then went one unimportant line after another,
i was trying to be nice and polite,
i didn't want to turn him down so straightly, it might came off rude.
then one sentence came off his mouth, that burned me:
"Dasar manja."

Jeder!!
Anrj*t!
Man,, serius, semua sumpah serapah langsung meledak di kepala gw,
untung ga keluar di mulut, Alhamdulillah masih bisa nahan diri,
kalo ga bisa jotos-jotosan di tempat tuh ( hehe, preman abis :) )
gile,
Man, you don't know ANYTHING about me, how dare you called me spoiled!
you have NO IDEA what i've been through,
you don't even know me, for God sake,
and who are you to judge, dude?!
Anjr*t ( Astagfirullah, sorry God >.< )
gila ya!

(*he.. notice the language change? he, that represents how pissed off i was, he..)

serius, gw langsung males ngomong sama dia,
ampe besoknya ktemu dia lagi,
biasanya gw masih ngeladenin,
walau emang omongannya keseringan ga penting,
tapi, yah biasanya gw brusaha sopan lah, ngeladenin bentar,
ini ga, gw cuekin aja,
dia terus negur2 sih, tapi bodo ah,
gile, masih kepikiran ucapannya, betapa ga pentingnya..

ini mungkin peringatan juga sih dari Yang Maha Mengetahui,
he, gw ga bisa mungkir, mulut gw sering buat dosa,
ucapan2 gw, kata2nya, kadang nyelekit2 pedes.
kadang sengaja, kadang ga sengaja,,

he, when i wanna hurt somebody, i can do it with painful words, *bad habit
but when the words come unintentionally,
sometimes a simple "sorry" can't undo it.

hah.
though learning i got here..

soo guys,, (and me..)
be careful about what you're saying to other people,
think before you talk, don't do it otherwise.
seriously, think before you talk,
cause even a single word can make a heart breaks.
(hey, it's a good tagline :D )

Emotionally Abused

yea, ok
you can say he's not that bad
whatever.
cause you won't hear any words i said,
what else could i do?

this is the tricky part,
he didn't do any physical abuse,
what he did was an emotional abuse.
and it wasn't easier -if not harder- to be deal with,
cause I don't have physical proof,
I can't show you any evidence,
if i could tear up my heart and let you see,
what damage he had done to me, emotionally,
maybe then you'll get it.

but unfortunately i can't,
what i can do now is express my feeling
with anything possible, that I'm comfortable with.
And when I do,
i would like you to listen,
pay attention,
and believe me.

Which you've failed to do.

i don't want this to happened too,
i dream about a perfect happy life,
but to simply look the other way,
doesn't solve the problem.
by not believing in it,
doesn't make it disappear.

I wish it was that easy,
but it'll be like there's something eating you alive inside,
and you just keep ignoring it, not believing that it exist,
then you just die.

No, i don't wanna do that.

I know you're hurt too,
yea, you're hurt too, yet you keep it quiet,
but don't expect me to do the same

I'll do whatever i can to make me comfortable,
cause i still have a life to be live in,
i still want to be happy.

so please don't drag me down
to the same quicksand that we're just get out from,
you wanna jump in again?
I'll say, "it's a ridiculous decision"
but you're so determine to do it,
so I'll say "Alright, just don't drag me down with you"

sorry

I guess the ball's on me now,
but sorry,
i don't wanna play anymore

sorry,
i dont have time for this,
what are we? five?

sorry,
I'm not in the mood for quarrel,
and i never will be

sorry,
if my maturity make you felt unease

sorry,
yeah,
i'm so sorry for you.

What's Wrong With You (and Me) ?

050808 - 8:35PM



Okay, I might shoved you first at the time,
I might overly put my emotion on my words the other day,
And you might took that more deeper than i thought.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the situation.
But to be honest, that's what I felt.
I was really disappointed.

And when you shoved me back,
I tried my best not to roar,
although my mind that time said,
"This kid wants war!"
But, no, I was trying to take the higher road,
I thought, "If what I'm about to say isn't gonna fix the situation, I'd better not say a word"
so I (tried to) shut my mind and heart, trust me it ain't easy,
It almost ruined my whole day,
I might even turn my best friend down..
Damn..

Then, when I thought I cooled down,
I decided not to light the fire,
I didn't want to add some unnecessary thoughts
inside my already (felt like) overloaded mind
I tried to reach out to you,
I tried to apologize, for the sake of my sanity and our relation.
Yet, you shoved me back.
and screamed "back off"
And yes, it hurt. Ouch.

Wow, it sounds like I'm a selfish jerk,
Hix. I slipped i guess.
I'm human too.
Couldn't I make mistakes?

Now I don't know what to do.
Didn't know it would turn out like this.
Guess I'm just gonna back off like you said.
Is this my fault?
What i know is we both hurt.
I don't know what to do, honestly.
I'm so sorry for the hurt.
but I guess it's not that easy to heal..
yours and mine.

Hope God help us find a way out of this mess.
Amin.


-Ddddddaaaaammmmmnnnnnn-

are this how we going to spend the rest of our life?
hating.. well probably not hating, but not caring about each other..?

we might as well leave this one behind
and start creating a new one, a better one instead,
cause -So Help Me God- that's the idea i've been thinking of.

-SometimesIt'sBetterNotToThinkAboutThis-

Relax Time..

just watched "Made Of Honor",
though it doesn't really have enough magic
like a successful romantic comedy movie should have,,
but it still enjoyable,
specially looking at that -Oh-So-Gorgeous- Patrick Dempsey,
hehe.. ;-)

the moral of the movie was..
"The perfect man may not be the perfect one for you"
"never take anyone for granted"
and...
we should hook up with our own best friend..
.
.
.
haha, naaah, i made up that last one..
hehe.



-Relaxed-

bodoh ah..

why do i have sudden urge to have a boyfriend?



hwakakak...



stupid hormones..


-PMS-

Okey, you can sue me for this, but honestly..

.
.
.

i was actually speechless when one of my high school friend asked me this:
"Dis, di Fasilkom tuh belajar apaan sih?"

and the best words i could came out with was:
"mm.. gw juga bingung jelasinnya ni.."

he.. ngeles,
tapi bneran, gw bingung lho ngejelasinnya kalo ditanya kayak gitu
gimana ya?

mau bilang belajar matematik,,
iya juga, dasar pelajarannya emang matematik,
tapi kan ga belajar matematik murni,
if so, then the place would be called "The Faculty of Mathematics"
instead of "The Faculty of Computer Science".. ha..

dibilang belajar teknik, iya juga,
kan ada matakuliah yang ttg hardware2 gitu
*which I'm so not interested in, he
walau ga -*well, gw sih belom- "megang2" mesin secara real
tapi kan at least belajar tentang konsep suatu mesin,,
belajar nyolok2 kabel, alat ini apa gunanya, dalemnya kayak gimana,,
gitu2 bisa dibilang sejenis kayak belajar teknik dong..

dibilang belajar ngoding, bikin program,
iya banget. ini mah ga usah ditanya.
tapi kan ga all of the subjects we learnt is about programming..
bisa protes ntar orang2 yang bakatnya bukan programming..
he,, no offense...

belajar bahasa? iya sih, macem2 lagi bahasanya,
dari bahasa Indonesia - Inggris, bahasa programming,
ampe bahasa nondeterministic, he..

belajar, mm.. belajar apa lagi ya?
yang jelas yang gw rasain di Fasilkom itu diajarin mngasah logika,
cara pikir lo akan berubah jadi lebih taktis dan sistematis,
jadi bisa menyelesaikan suatu masalah dengan lebih terkonsep..
*huahahaha, apa lagi tuh :D
yah, dengan kata lain, seperti komputer..

*lha,, berarti di Fasilkom diajarin jadi komputer dong?
hehe.. iya juga sih. It's not a bad thing isn't it?
toh salah satu alasan komputer awalnya dibuat kan untuk
mengurangi kesalahan2 yang umumnya dilakukan manusia,
minimizing human error.. biar hasil suatu pekerjaan jadi bisa lebih precise.

so i guess it's definitely not a bad thing for us
to be taught to minimizing our own error..

haa..
sebenernya gampang juga sih jawabannya,
kan keliatan dari namanya; "ilmu komputer"
yah, kita diajarin ilmu komputer,
ilmu2 yang mendasari komputer,
sebuah mesin yang intinya adalah sebuah mesin menghitung (compute),
ilmu2 yang membuat dan menjaga biar kita tetep ga kalah dari komputer,,
hehe..


yap, nemu deh gw jawabannya
jadi, kalo ditanya "Di Fasilkom belajar apa sih?"
akan gw jawab "Ya belajar ilmu komputer"
atau akan gw jawab "Belajar jadi komputer"
hehe..

hhh..
there goes another reason why i finding it hard to trust you,
cause you just messin' it up.
you blew my trust.

a sincere apologize won't fix it, but it will be nice
yet, you didn't do it either,
hhh.. can i just give up on you and not find me stuck with sins??

yaiks. what a thought, yet it comes to my mind quite often nowadays
hmm.. i wonder why,,
and it seems more tempting everytime..

hhh..

Welcome to Jakarta, The Capital City of Indonesia!

.
.
.
yeah, smelly restroom in the international airport,
what a first impression,
nicely done.. *clap clap

*hah, kapan Soekarno-Hatta bisa jadi kayak Changi?

banyak pikiran

duh, tolong di defrag dong otak gw nih
ribet, pusing.
hah.

besok lebih baik, besok lebih baik,, amin..

Repot-merepoti

seseorang pernah melihat garis tangan gw dan berkata
"wah ini sih (orangnya) mandiri nih, maksudnya, ga mau ngerepotin orang lain"

bukan bermaksud langsung percaya sama kata-kata orang itu, tapi...
.
.
.
hah, itu bener banget tuh.
gw emang sebisa mungkin berusaha untuk ga ngerepotin orang,
maksudnya, kalo itu emang kewajiban gw, tugas gw,
gw berusaha untuk melakukannya sebisa mungkin tanpa melibatkan orang lain,
kalo memang tidak perlu.


dan sedikit banyak, gw mengharapkan orang lain juga gitu,
maxudnya, gw ga suka direpotin orang lain,
kalau gw harus mengerjakan yang semestinya adalah tugas, kewajiban orang lain,
kalau kegiatan gw jadi terganggu gara2 orang lain ga melakukan tugasnya dgn baik,
nah itu gw anggep salah satu bentuk gw direpotin orang lain.


bukan berarti gw ga perhatian lho,
kalo orang lain minta tolong, itu beda lagi urusannya,
gw juga kan pasti pernah dan akan minta tolong juga,
dan pada saat itu, gw berharap ada yang nolong gw, he..
kalo ada alasan yang jelas, kenapa orang itu ga bisa ngerjain tugasnya dgn baik,
dan kalo alasannya itu gw anggap masuk akal dan bisa ditolerir,
ya itu beda lagi,,
gw masih orang kok, bukan robot,
ga sekaku itu..


ini beda sama itu,
.
.
.
ehm, gw baru sadar betapa rancunya kalimat gw yang barusan, hehe.

btw, contohnya yang gw consider "ngerepotin":
- misalnya gw sama si A mau berangkat bareng nih,
nah pas udah waktunya, si A ternyata belum siap tanpa alasan yang jelas,
kan sama seperti dia tidak melakukan "tugas" bagiannya, untuk bersiap2 tepat waktu, dengan baik.
nah akhirnya kita jadi telat berangkatnya..
kan gw juga yang kena getahnya..
hu, kalo kayak gitu, gw bisa lho dengan senang hati berangkat duluan,
ninggalin si A aja gitu, haa,, dan gw pernah lho kayak gitu,
hehehe..

- trus yang paling sering lo temuin juga mungkin,
yah kalo mesti kerja bareng, trus ada yang ga ngerjain bagiannya
dan akhirnya mesti kita yang ngerjain,
kalo ga tugasnya ga selesai atau hasilnya bakal jelek
hah. pasti pada pernah.

- ato lo udah ngerjain tugas bagian lo,
dan orang lain belum,
but at the end of the day,
akhirnya lo harus ngerjain bagiannya dia juga
kesel ga si..?


yah, mungkin kadang gw lalai juga,
ga ngerjain bagian gw dengan baik,
kadang karena ada alasan yang jelas,
kadang i'm just plain lazy, he

yah tapi diusahakan sih tidak,
hmm.. pkknya intinya mungkin;
gw ga mau ngerepotin orang,
dan gw ga suka direpotin orang.

there, simple kan,
just a little take-and-give, he..


oh well,
there's a little about me.
how 'bout u?

I realized

160608 - 11:08 AM

Disela-sela kuliah Desain dan Analisis Algoritma (DAA) yang sayangnya gw jalani dengan terngantuk-ngantuk krn kmaren tidurnya kemaleman, (eh ato kepagian ya, hoho..) gw menyadari bahwa semua orang itu ingin dianggap spesial..
(lha. gada hubungannya sama DAA, hakakak,, ga konsen berat gw..)

Iya, gw baru sadar, orang2 dengan keunikannya masing2 ternyata ingin dianggap spesial, berbeda dengan yang lainnya..

Dan sepertinya gw selama ini melupakan itu, ha..

gw baru sadar, betapa ga enak rasanya kalo ngerasa ga spesial,
ga ada bedanya lo sama yang lain,
kalo lo ga ada, ya udah gapapa, toh sama yang lain juga sama aja..
huah.
ga enak lo jadi seseorang yang replaceable.
Jadi ga ada bedanya sama barang.
Salah satu yang ngebedain manusia sama robot kan,
bahwa manusia bisa memberi efek yang berbeda-beda untuk hidup tiap-tiap orang disekitarnya.

dan selama ini kayaknya gw kurang menunjukkan sm orang2 sekitar gw,
betapa spesial mereka buat gw,
betapa keberadaan mereka membawa perubahan
dan seperti kata2 klise di undangan2 zaman dulu,
"sungguh tiada kesan tanpa kehadiranmu", hee..

yeah, gw tadinya secara tidak sadar berpikiran kalau
..menunjukkan ketertarikan dan perhatian kita kepada orang lain
itu sama seperti menunjukkan kelemahan gw.
..menunjukkan betapa berartinya mereka untuk gw
itu seperti menunjukkan kalau gw ga bisa apa-apa tanpa mereka.
..menunjukkan kalau hari-hari gw akan berbeda kalau tidak ada mereka,
itu sama seperti menunjukkan kalau gw tergantung kepada mereka.

ey, ternyata ga gitu juga.
ternyata dengan gw menahan semua perasaan gw di dalem,
ga bikin gw lebih kuat,
ga bikin gw lebih nyaman dengan diri gw, nope,
kalaupun ada rasa2 lebih nyaman, itu cuman semu, ga tahan lama

gw justru lebih nyaman sekarang, dengan konsep pemikiran baru ini,
gw jadi lebih lega, bebas, tanpa beban.
kalo emang mereka berarti buat gw, ya ga usah ditutup2in.

Emang kenapa sih kalau mereka tau? Kalau orangnya baik si mereka akan welcome,
kalau orangnya ga baik, ya bukan masalah lo,
it's their problem, it's not your fault, he.

dan kalaupun itu akan menunjukkan kelemahan gw, ya gapapalah orang2 tau,
kan ga ada orang yang sempurna, so untuk apa menutup-nutupi kekurangan?

Nobody's perfect, everybody knows that.
So what's the point in pretending to be one?

malah jadi busuk sendiri di dalem,
mendingan dibiarin aja,
biar orang-orang sekitar kita jadi tau dan mengerti kita apa adanya..
Toh kita jujur, ga menutup-nutupi sesuatu, ga ada yang salah dengan itu kan?

Anyway, back to the whole special thing,
i really think it's important to let people around you
know how much they matter to you,
and i mean, each and every person in your life.

Lo juga kan pasti seneng kalau tau
keberadaan lo membawa perubahan di hidup seseorang,
kalau lo tuh spesial, beda dari yang lain,
lo punya arti tersendiri untuk seseorang.
seneng kan kalo tau itu?

Each person must have different effect in your world,
they give different color, with each own RGB combination. he.
Do not take them for granted,
or your world will be colorless, not even black and white.
Let people know what they actually do to your life.
Let them know that they matter to you.

And as the famous quotation said "You don't know what you got until it's gone"
Yaiks, we don't need another living proof
of how right that quote is, so don't be one.

Tell your family, friends, and people around you,
how much each and everyone of them means to you,
how they change your days, how they make you smile,
how the day will be so boring without them,
how you miss them when they're not around..

And throw those BIG ego to the dumpster.
you really don't need another burden in your life,
trust me, it'll make your day so much easier
but, yeah, i know, it's easier said than done..
All i can say is,
there's really no excuse to not doing the right thing,
hey, they don't call it the "right" thing for nothing. ha.

Ngomong2 kok jadi nulisnya bilingual gini, haha, semoga yang baca ga bingung :P

-pelajaran dari kuliah DAA adalah, semua orang itu spesial, hehe-

No Mockery Needed

.
.
.

to make the world a better place.

Besides, it don't do you any good other than
give a fake boost on your ego and decreasing other's self-esteem

Hey, I'm no saint, i sometimes (with or without intention) ridicule other,
I admit it was kinda fun, ha, but most kind of bad things is fun,
if it wasn't, it wouldn't be so hard to neglect, he..
plus it's definitely not fun for the one whose being mocked.
Hey, you must treat others like how you want to be treated, right?

so I'm trying to quit, or at least minimize my mockery act,
I think you should too..


lets make this world a better place.


hey, we only got one world,
we only have one life,
we better not mess it up.

Messed Up

.
.
.

Yeah, what a messed up situation,


why do i feel like I'm the only one who's using common sense around here?



-Sigh..-

Bingung..

Kadang gw suka bingung sama lo,
sebenernya lo emang ga tau cara berhubungan yang baik dengan orang,
atau emang sengaja sih?

Cause as far as i know,
what you did (or didn't do) aren't help to make people close to you,

And just because i already know you,
doesn't mean you could take me for granted.
doesn't mean i will always understand what you do.
doesn't mean i couldn't walk away.

cause i could,
i just haven't done it
and i wish i won't ever have do it
but you didn't make things any easier, mate, just so you know..

Sometimes You Just Have To Let It Go..... or Not?

When you've wait long enough for someone to change,
but they aren't going to change...
"..yet", you said to yourself..

When you constantly waiting for good news
but all you've got is the opposite...

When you started to ask yourself,
are they really worth all the heartache and pain,
and you're not sure what's the answer..

When you're telling yourself, "That's It.",
but change your mind every five minutes...

When your brain continuously think of them,
you can't stop it, and not sure if you want to stop it,
it's becoming a habit, an addiction

when that time comes, sometimes i have a thought just to let you go,
release you, not to try anymore, loosen my hands around you,
then my life possibly would be much more simpler.


but then again,


if I let you go,


I'm not sure i would have a life.



Damn...

Kesel,,

Kenapa sih, mayoritas cowo yang gw kenal deket,

turns out to be

either

Brengsek

kalo ga

Bego.


hah.



*gila kasar banget yah gw,, habis.. kesel..



Siapa yang mau membuktikan sebaliknya?
sini hayo coba ktemu gw,, he..


-PMS+UAS=Madness-

sanity keeper

Somehow I laughed when i heard this song
and realize the lyric..

"You bored me with your stories
I can't believe that I endured for as long as I did
I'm happy it's over, I'm only sorry
That I didn't make the move before you

And when you go I will remember
To send a thank you note to that(oooh that) girl
I see she's holding you so tender
Well I just wanna say

I never really loved you anyway
No I didn't love you anyway
I never really loved you anyway
I'm so glad you're moving away

.
.
.
- The Corrs - Never Loved You Anyway-"

haha,, lirik yang kejam,,
kenapa ya gw ketawa? ;p

-----

Btw, this song is also nice, i like to hear it once in a while
interesting lyric, like most of Alanis' song

Alanis Morissette - Ironic

"An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well, isn't this nice."
And isn't it ironic ... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
and who would've thought... it figures

Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everthing blows up in your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
A little too ironic.. and yeah I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
And life has a funny way of helping you out
Helping you out."

---------

ha, keren ya lagunya.

-UAS.UAS.UAS-

You know what sucks about lie?









When you find out the whole opposite truth,
it hurts like hell.







-YesItDoes-

Damn..

02-05-08
10:22

I keep saying the wrong things at the wrong time.

Nicely done Dis,,
Very nice..

Now please rethink before you say anything, will ya?!


-Haah-

Kangen.

You know what I miss?
.
.
.
.
My typical Saturday-Sunday morning.

Gee, i miss those time when i could wake up at 10,
then watching Oprah, while eating my chicken porridge.

When i could go out from my house and smell the nice scent of morning,
aahh..


Gile, udah lama ya gw ga gitu,
skarang Sabtu pagi gw mesti udah berangkat les, in 8 AM!
Damn, les apaan jam 8..
masi ngantuk2 gt.. huhu..
yah tapi memang gw yang pengen les, jadi dijalani sajalah,
no pain no gain. >.<

Trus minggu paginya, yang ada gw capek, trus tidur ampe siang (haha)
trus paling belajar buat ngerjar materi kuliah, (ha, pathetic /. .\)
ah cumi2 lah..

-KangenDeh-

New Form of Torture

12 04 08


.
.
.
is.... Facial!

yak benar,,
menurut gw, facial adalah salah satu bentuk penyiksaan modern,,

i mean, is this suppose to be this hurting?

Ouch.

And we -for the sake of our pride- we don't even allowed to scream.

Yaiks.

I'm talkin' about a stranger wobbling your face,
pinching it on one side to another..

Hiiy..

I rarely go facial -guess i know why now-
adn today i decided to do it,
and i regret my decision.

Udah sakit,
hasilnya merah2 smua lagi muka gw.. >.<
kayak abis ditonjokin,
bengkak2.. :D


Haa...

Mungkin krn gw jarang facial juga kali ya,
yang bikin pas gw facial, kok banyak banget yang mesti "dibenahi"..
hwakakak.. :D

Hush..

anyway, stelah kunjungan menyakitkan ke salon itu,
gw bertekad untuk lebih memperhatikan kesejahteraan kulit muka gw,
"duh, kasian mbak kulitnya" - kt yang facial-in gw tadi..
"sial", dalem hati gw :D

ah gw mau lebih serius ngerawat kulit muka ah,
udah mau 20 masa masi jerawatan
jadi malu gw.

yah semangat deh dis,
asal jgn brenti ditengah jalan aja,
*great, what a "motivational" statement
:))


-Crap-

Man, I Was Selfish!

saw you one night all alone,
and damn,
i didn't realize you're so lonely.

Sitting there all by yourself,
i couldn't tell that you're happy.

Were you relieved, or mad?
were you happy or sad?

what were you thinking?

and there it was,
suddenly i realized,
i was so selfish all this time,

you probably thought about all those lonely nights you might have,
all those scary possibilities,
all those memories,,

man!
i wasn't realize you were this lonely,
i wasn't realize that this thing is suckin' up all your life,
leaving only pain and agony
leaving you in the most difficult situation.

I'm sorry if i only add your misery,
me, not being supportive, not being helpful,
truthfully i'm sorry,
i didn't realize it was that bad..

So sorry,
wish i could be more helpful in the future,
at least show that i care,
so we could fix this thing, together..

-Man!-

Action Speaks Louder Than Word

.
.
.
yes they do.

please stop making him useless excuses,
i already know him,

and i know what he did to me, to us.
i feel the pain too.

I'm confused about how fast you forget about it
and agreed to take him back.

You said you haven't forget about it,
yet you don't show it,
and pretend like nothing happened.

.
.
.

Have your wounds heal already?
cause mine's haven't.

You said yours haven't too
yet you don't show it,
and pretend like nothing happened.

.
.
.

well, MANY things happened,
and you can't expect me to walk on with closed eyes like you do.
no, i can't.

.
.
.

You can said "he change, he's a better person now" a million time,
yet, still i can't believe it.

what i believe is what i see, what i feel, what i know,
what he did to me,
or maybe what he NEVER did to me.
and it hurts.

and don't blame me if i don't believe him right now,
because i don't
and i don't know if I'm ever gonna trust him again.

this wounds can't be undone,
this pain you can't took back,
i already know what's the cause, who's to blame,
so don't make me go back and feel it again.


.DontMakeAnyJudgementIfYouDon'tKnowTheProblem.

This could be an ordinary day..

This could be an ordinary day,
but instead, you guys showed up and shouted happy birthday.


I could be alone with my thoughts of life
but then you all came and reminded me that i was alive.


I could just sat, watching TV by myself
then you bursted into my living room,
sat on my couch like a bunch of elf.


I didn't even have plan for the noon,
but then i saw you guys,
i didn't want us to split until the sun replaced by the moon.
(ahaha, lebai, bodo ah :p)


It was one of the day when you didn't want things to end,
the day which left smile upon your face until you put yourself to sleep,
I know, and i don't want to pretend,
this moment is so sweet, a moment worth to keep.


This could be an ordinary day,
but instead, you guys showed up and shouted happy birthday!


Thanks for this day guys,
You're the BEST.
:)

special for : Bung Nat, Fani, Ronny, Lucia, Dimas.. :)

-senang!-

Doa

20 03 1989 - 20 03 2008
.
.
19 tahun.

Tuhan,
terimakasih atas kesempatan hidup selama 19 tahun ini.
terimakasih atas semua nikmat-nikmat yang Kau beri.
terimakasih atas hidupku,
terimakasih atas sehatku,
terimakasih atas imanku,
terimakasih atas keluargaku,
terimakasih atas teman-temanku,
terimakasih atas segala kemampuanku,
terimakasih atas semua kesempatan yang Kau beri untukku,
terimakasih atas semua petunjuk yang Kau beri untukku,
terimakasih atas semuanya, ya Allah..

Semoga aku tidak menyia-nyiakan semua yang telah Kau berikan,
semoga aku selalu dekat dengan-Mu, ya Allah,
semoga aku dapat menjalani hari-hariku dengan lebih baik lagi,
Amin. Terimakasih ya Allah.

-.-

Hidayah Tuhan

Kadang kita suka mengeluh ketika kita sedang bingung,
Kadang kita suka merasa petunjuk dan hidayah-hidayah dari Tuhan tidak pernah datang untuk kita.
Padahal kita ga sadar, kalau disekeliling hidup kita tuh penuh sama petunjuk2
yang Allah berikan untuk membuat hidup kita lebih mudah.

Hanya saja petunjuk-petunjuk itu diberikan dalam bentuk yang kadang sangat sederhana.
Kegiatan-kegiatan yang biasa terjadi, atau benda-benda yang wajar disekeliling kita, bisa jadi merupakan petunjuk Tuhan
Kita telah terlalu sering menemuinya sehingga kita tidak lagi sadar bahwa
ada campur tangan Tuhan dalam setiap kegiatan.

Lagipula jika dipikir lagi, kita tidak mampu menerima petunjuk Tuhan dalam bentuk lain.
Kita bukan Nabi. Kita bukan malaikat.
Kita bukan orang-orang yang dipilih Tuhan untuk menerima hidayah-Nya secara langsung.
Kita tidak diberi kemampuan untuk itu.

Apakah kita mampu menerima bentuk lain hidayah Tuhan selain dengan kegiatan atau benda yang kita sudah terbiasa melihatnya?
Petunjuk-petunjuk Tuhan terlalu besar dan mewah untuk kita terima dalam bentuk selain itu.
ini adalah bentuk terbaik yang bisa kita cerna, bisa kita terima, bisa kita mengerti
Tuhan tahu itu, Tuhan pasti tau kemampuan makhluknya, Ia yang menciptakan kita!
Tuhan tahu yang terbaik untuk kita, Tuhan tahu kemampuan kita,
dan Tuhan sayang sama kita.

Tuhan pasti memberikan kita petunjuk.
Hanya saja kita yang sering mengabaikannya.
Kalau sudah begitu, salah siapa?

Tuhan dengan sangat baik memberikan petunjuk-Nya dalam bentuk yang kita mengerti.
hanya kadang kita sudah terlalu terbiasa mendapatkannya, kita mengabaikannya

Memangnya Siapa yang memberi kita rasa ingin pipis,
sehingga kita terbangun di malam saat kita ketiduran padahal kita seharusnya belajar?

Memangnya Siapa yang membangunkanmu tepat waktu sehingga kamu ga telat?

Siapa yang mempertemukanmu dengan teman2 terbaikmu?

Siapa yang mengatur hidupmu dengan begitu apiknya?

Dan saat kamu mengacaukan semuanya, memangnya Siapa yang memperbaikinya lagi?

Siapa yang punya kuasa sangat besar namun cukup peduli tentang kehidupan kamu?
Siapa yang sangat baik untuk terus peduli denganmu?

Pekalah terhadap semua benda dan kejadian di sekitar kita,
dan selalu ingat:
ada campur tangan Tuhan dalam setiap peristiwa.

wallahualam..
kebenaran datang dari Allah,
kesalahan datang dari makhluk2nya, seperti saya.

-Kuncinya:PekaDanBersyukurlah-

"Nyarang"

Tau ga yang bikin gw kesel dan gregetan waktu lagi asik2 belajar?

yang bikin gw kesel adalah... peralatan belajar yang tiba2 ilang!!

Tiba2 penghapus ilang, tau kmana,
makin kesel lagi, udah nyari2, udah panik2,
udah pake berdiri2 padahal posisi lagi enak2nya,
ternyata penghapusnya kedudukan..
atau, ternyata penghapusnya nyelip di baju,,
eh.. ngeselin laginya sih,
kalau yang dicari ternyata ada di tempat pensil, haha..
*bukannya bersyukur ketemu, he.. :p

Emang dasar ceroboh,
kalau lagi asik, naro barang bisa seenaknya,
kalau kata nyokap, "nyarang" alias bikin sarang,
jadi kalau udah duduk di satu tempat,
pasti sebentar kemudian barang2nya betebaran di sekitarnya. haha..

Dulu sih parah,
pas jaman2nya sibuk2 ujian segala macem itu,
kalau gasalah, pernah beli peghapus boxy seminggu 2x gara2 ilang mulu..
haha,,

sekarang si coba dikurangi,
habis dipake, ditaro lagi ke tempatnya,,
yah lumayan membantu..

*eh tapi sekarang,, pensil gw kmana ya ? (n.n!)

-BadHabitNih-

Don't try too hard..

Tau ga kenapa semua orang suka sama bayi?
Soalnya bayi ga berusaha membuat orang2 suka sama dia,
bayi hanya lakukan apa yang mau dia lakukan,
babies just trying to be babies

So don't try too hard, hey you..
Don't try too hard to please others just to make them like you,
you're just pushing them away,
you're pushing me away..

lagian, lo ga mau kan kalo orang2 sukanya sama lo yang "palsu",
orang2 sukanya sama lo yang dibuat2, bukan sama lo yang sebenarnya
ntar juga lo yang capek sendiri,
capek pura-pura jadi orang lain,
capek harus "berusaha keras" biar orang2 suka sama lo,,

just be yourself, mate..
then your real friends will show up

-Rrr..Don'tMeanToBeRude,But,GrowUp,WillYa?!-

Pilihan Konyol

Jika suatu saat kau dihadapkan pada sebuah pilihan,
sebuah pertanyaan mendasar yang sebetulnya sangat sederhana,
"Pilih Tuhanmu atau pasanganmu?"
kuharap kau menggunakan akal sehatmu
dan tidak membuat sebuah pilihan yang konyol..

Akan kubeberkan beberapa alasannya,
mumpung aku tidak sedang dalam keaadan dilema seperti diatas,
mumpung aku sedang bekerja menggunakan logika,
sekalian memberi sedikit perenungan bagi kau yang sedang mengalami dilema,
dan sebagai pengingat jika aku suatu saat nanti mengalami dilema..

Ada berjuta-juta orang di dunia, tapi hanya ada satu Tuhan.
beribu-ribu perempuan/laki-laki potensial, dan tetap hanya ada satu Tuhan.
Jika kau kehilangan pasanganmu, tapi kau dekat dengan Tuhanmu,
Tuhan bisa dengan mudah menyediakan kembali seseorang untukmu.
Tapi jika kau kehilangan kedekatanmu dengan Tuhan,
bisakah seseorang mencarikanmu Tuhan baru?

Jika kau kehilangan pasanganmu,
kemungkinan kau akan menyesal,
bersedih dan sengsara selama.. 1 minggu? 1 tahun?
atau kemungkinan terburuk, seumur hidupmu.
Jika kau kehilangan Tuhanmu,
kau akan sengsara seumur hidupmu di dunia... dan akhirat...
dan hanya Dia yang tahu berapa lama siksaan terhadapmu akan berlangsung,
dan hanya Dia yang mampu menolongmu,
pertanyaannya adalah..
maukah Dia menolongmu?
sudikah Dia peduli terhadap seorang hamba yang tidak dekat denganNya
dan tidak tahu berterimakasih?
sudikah kamu menolong seseorang yang tidak dekat denganmu
dan tidak tahu berterimakasih?

Ketahuilah, Tuhan tidak perlu ibadah kita,
Tuhan tidak perlu semua amal kita,
kitalah yang perlu Tuhan,
kita seperti makhluk kecil yang terdampar di sebuah lahan besar dan luas,
dan Tuhan sangat berbaik hati untuk terus memperhatikan kita,
Ia bahkan memberi kita sebuah pegangan, semacam "guide book"
tentang bagaimana menjalani hidup yang baik,
hidup yang dijamin akan selamat.

Kalau si makhluk kecil itu menolak mengikuti petunjuk2 itu,
apakah Tuhan yang rugi?
apakah Ia yang akan uring-uringan dan stress ?
Tidak.
Tuhan tidak perlu kita,
jika Ia mau, Ia bisa saja mengganti kita dengan makhluk yang lebih patuh.
hal itu sangat mudah bagiNya.

Lalu?
apakah pasanganmu bisa menandingi Tuhan?
apakah pasanganmu bisa menyediakan petunjuk untuk hidupmu?
apakah pasanganmu bisa menjamin hidupmu akan bahagia?
apakah pasanganmu bisa menyediakan rezeki bagimu selama 1 hari saja?
apakah pasanganmu bisa menjamin dirimu masih akan hidup 1 detik setelah ini?
apakah pasanganmu bisa menjamin dirinya masih akan hidup 1 detik setelah ini?
apakah pasanganmu bisa menandingi Tuhan?
bukankah ia hanya sebuah makhluk kecil juga?

Lantas?
apa lagi yang perlu kau pikirkan?

Pilihlah pasanganmu berdasarkan petunjuk Tuhan,
jangan memilih Tuhan berdasarkan pasanganmu,
atau siapapun itu.

Jadi,
Jika suatu saat kau dihadapkan pada sebuah pilihan,
sebuah pertanyaan mendasar yang sebetulnya sangat sederhana,
"Pilih Tuhanmu atau pasanganmu?"
kuharap kau menggunakan akal sehatmu
dan tidak membuat sebuah pilihan yang konyol..

-Renungan-

Birokrasi oh birokrasi

Siapa sih yang kepikiran buat ngasih izin masang baliho segede2 bagong
di Sabtu siang di jalan yang ramenya Subhanallah??

Gile gile gile,
macetnya amit2.

Kalau dalam pikiran gw sih,
masang baliho bgituan kan mestinya bukan sesuatu yang urgent
kenapa ga masangnya malem2 aja sih?
waktu ga banyak mobil yang lewat,
jadi ga banyak orang yang dirugikan,
dan mengurangi jumlah umpatan dan dosa orang juga kan?

masalahnya,
namanya orang pasti maunya yang enak2 aja,
dan urusan kerugian orang lain di-nomor-sekian-kan,
kalau bisa masang siang, kenapa mesti malem2?
kalau boleh masang siang, kenapa mesti malem2?

dan gw ga bisa nahan u/ mikir
ada permainan uang dibalik ini.
(ciah, gile deh pikirannya ;p )

ah au ah
ribet mikirin bginian
macet nih!

-Bin!Bin!AdaApaSihDiDepan?-

Hari ini..

Sepertinya hari ini gw banyak berbuat dosa,
Astagfirullahalaziim

Kayaknya hari ini gw banyak bikin kesel orang,
dan parahnya itu orang2 terdekat gw..
Astagfirullahalaziim..

Ya ampun, perasaan gw ga enak banget,
Kesel2an sama orang tu ga enak.
Terutama sama tmen lo sendiri,
Dan ga selamanya tu perasaan bisa lo sembunyiin,
ga selamanya lo bisa nutupin rasa kesel lo itu,
menelan bulat2 semuanya, dan memendamnya dalam hati,
lalu berlagak semua tidak ada apa2

---
Lo ga harus ngalah,
Gw ga pengen lo ngalah,
ini bukan pertandingan kok..
---

Dan gw ga marah, hanya kecewa,
mungkin ini salah gw juga, mengharapkan suatu yang ga pasti,
boleh kan seseorang kecewa?
boleh dong gw kesel sekali2,

Maaf ya,
gw ngertinya baru di akhir2,
gw emang ga mikir panjang,
i didn't put myself in your situation,
tp skarang udah kok..
gw lebih ngerti keadaan lo,
setidaknya gw pikir begitu,,

maaf ya gw menempatkan lo di situasi yang sulit,
maaf ya gw seperti memaksakan kehendak gw,
maaf lo harus terpaksa ngikutin kemauan gw,
yea, dan jangan mengelak,
gw tau lo terpaksa.. :(


duh,
semoga kejadian ini ga bikin kita renggang,
dan kalaupun iya, semoga bisa diperbaiki lagi,
gw bner2 ngerasa kayak orang2 di The Sims,
he,, dan hubungan gw sama lo lagi "merah" ni sekarang,
hix, semoga bisa "ijo" lagi deh..

karena lo tmen gw,
and you're one of the best one, :)
dan gw ga bisa kehilangan tmen.
ga bakal tahan gw, gile,
kalo ga ada tmen, kayak gimana hidup gw ya?
miserable kayaknya..

Haa... ada tombol "undo" ga sih di hidup ini?

-huhu..-

Finally..

I hope it's for the best.
I think it's for the best.
God, please help me get through
this phase of my life safely..

I'm very proud of my mom.
She just made a very big decision.
Please take care of us, Dear God..
For that, and for all your blessings
all i can say is thank You with all my heart,
yet i know it's not enough..

Semangat!!!

Hayo Dis,
makin banyak nih tanggung jawab lo,
makin banyak yang harus dkerjain..

Ayo semangat!!
there's no time to waste.

Kalau hidup ini diibaratkan game,
gw mau naik level nih kayaknya..
hehe..

Kan seperti omongannya Pak Rhenald Kasali;
"Kalau jalan hidup ini terasa berat,
berarti kita sedang menanjak"

-Semangat!!!!-

Reachin' out..

Hehe,,
kmaren gw jalan sama tmen2 SD gw..
ha.. gila, some things just never change ya..


Di tengah keseruan itu, gw sadar..
gila, gw udah lama banget ga ngobrol sama mereka2..
gimana kabarnya belakangan ini?
siapa cowonya skarang? (he.. tetep gosip dong :D)
ada apa aja yang baru di kehidupan mereka?

padahal dulu gw kyknya ga ada tmen lain selain mreka..
bisa dibilang, mereka saksi hidup kalau gw pernah SD,
haha,, sedih amat ya gw.
yah emg gitu lah, ga gaul memang >.<
eh bukan ga gaul deng,
gw hanya pengen menghabiskan waktu dengan mereka2 yang terpilih
*halah* ngeles pisan, padahal kuper mampus :))


anyway..
gw nyesel juga, knapa selama ini ga keep in touch
sekedar nanya2 kabar,
padahal no hape udah ada di tangan,
tinggal pencet2 bentar, bisa terhubung silaturahmi.
belom lagi ada internet sekarang..
dengan kata lain, ga sulit kok untuk menghubungi mereka..
hix..


sebetulnya akibatnya ada lagi,,
bukan gw aja yang ketinggalan ttg info2 mereka..
mereka juga ga tau perkembangan kehidupan gw..
apa yang terjadi di kehidupan gw,
jadi, sengaja/gak sengaja,
di mata mereka, gw ya tetep gw yang dulu,
gw yang waktu SD,
gw yang iseng berat,
gw yang ngomong ga diayak dulu,
gw yang yah.. yang masih SD dulu..

hee,, gw ga berubah "BANYAK" banget sih dari zaman SD dulu..
tapi kan...namanya hidup, pasti jalan terus.. *ciiieehh :D
adalah yang berubah, walau ga sedikit juga yang tetep sama kyk dulu..

Dan mungkin mereka di mata gw ya juga gitu,,
mau ga mau, image mereka di mata gw, tetep mereka yang SD dulu,
karena database otak gw tentang mereka ga punya sumber untuk nge-update,
jadinya data-data mereka di otak gw
adalah data2 yang usang, kuno, dan ga ter-update...

hix, sedih juga,
mikir kalau gw mungkin aja melewatkan;
saat2 paling berkesan dalam hidup mereka,
saat2 paling menentukan,
saat2 paling menggembirakan,
atau mungkin saat2 paling menyedihkan..
saat2 mereka butuh teman,
and i wasn't there..
dan sebaliknya, saat2 gw butuh teman,
they weren't there either..

it's just sad to think that
i could've miss so much stuff in their life,
and they could've miss so much stuff in mylife..


menurut gw, hidup ini terlalu singkat,
dan dunia ini terlalu besar untuk dijalani sendiri,
that's why we have friends..
teman, mereka yang mau berbagi hidupnya dengan kita,
sehingga kita merasakan apa yang mereka rasakan,
kita gembira saat mereka gembira,
kita sedih saat mereka sedih,
kita ikut marah dan sakit saat mereka tersakiti/disakiti.
kita seperti hidup di dunia mereka,
dan sebaliknya, mereka seperti hidup di dunia kita.
kita saling memperkaya hidup masing2,
jadi hidup kita ga kerasa sempit,
pandangan kita makin luas,
dan pengetahuan kita makin berlimpahruah
dan yang paling penting,,
hidup kita makin berwarna dan bermakna


I wanna know about their progress in life,
and i want they know about mine either..
well maybe it's not much, and it's really not that important,
but if it's your friend's life we're talkin',
there's simply no need for much reason to concern kan?
you just care for them,
you just do..


Teman-temaaan!!!
Keep in touch ya!!!


-Yes,That'sWhatFriendshipMeansToMe-

It's that time of the month again..

Haah.
Kesel juga kadang2 kalau lg ngalamin PMS gini.
semuanya jadi "berlebih"

-lebih sensitif,
-lebih gampang nangis
-lebih gila
-lebih gampang marah
-lebih moody
-lebih kesel sama orang yang dikeselin
-lebih sayang sama orang yang disayangin

serba berlebih deh,
haa..
nikmati saja lah.

-aaa...-

Tuh kan keliatan..

..yang salah, yang paling keliatan menyesal..

you had you're chance, you blew it.

-IHadNothingToLose-

I hate men.

Grrh..
i hate men
they're so primitive.

-hiiih-

I'm Just A Human

I'm sorry if i was rude,
i didn't mean to,
i really didn't.

i want us to be normal,
maybe not like we used to,
but just like normal people.

but i think it's not possible,
not now,
my mind, heart, and pride won't let me,
see.. i told you i'm self-centered.

i have to give myself a time to grieve,
this wound won't heal in one blink.

so could you please stay away from me for a while,
cause these memory haven't fade away just yet.

one thing i know now,
I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me,
and relationship don't always have to work.

you can think what you want,
that i'm egoistic and childish?
i don't care.
I'm not perfect,
i'm just human,
i have my flaws.

-IAmJustHuman-

Begoo!!!

Gw baru saja melakukan suatu hal yang sangat bodoh, dungu,
dan berpotensi menyebabkan gw menderita malu yang teramat besar..

seriously,,
gila,
gila,
gila,
bego...!

..
.
.

hhh... tarik nafas..
buang,,



oke think.
what's the worst thing that could happen?
ehm,, beside i'll be the talked of the society,
i'll lose my face in front of some people,
i also potentially will be embarrassed for a looong time..

HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

b*doh.
dung*.
t*lol.

dudulllll!!!

-begobegobegobegobego-

let the time do the talking..

he's not ready for another relationship..

that's it,
that's the words that i think best describe what happened..
it took me 1 night to think that 1 sentence..

am i right? or am i not?
i don't know.
i really don't.

the soundtrack of my morning today is "Life Goes On" by LeAnn Rimes
"Oh life goes on, and it's only gonna make me strong.."

But then my friend came to visit, and we talked, heart to heart.
she said to follow my heart.
and now i'm not sure about what i feel.
i'm not sure about anything.

i wish life as simple as one-two-three or a-b-c,
i wish i could just say "ah tau ah" and walk away,

.
.
.
hhh...
God, please guide my way, thank You..

now only time could tell, what will this be.
oh i wish the process isn't going to be hurt.


-BlankMind-

Oh well,,

oh well,,
i always pray for the best to happen
apparently this is the best for now
according to You, God,
so what can I say?

All i want to do is grateful because i have You in my life,
You that Keep me from crumble and fall into pieces
You that Gave me this amazing maturity and calmness i don't even know i had
You that Allow me to experienced this journey
You, Who Know what's best for me..
You, God...
Alhamdulillahirabbilalamin..

HasbiAllahu laa ilaa ha illa huwa 'alaihi tawakkaltu
Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tiada Tuhan selain Dia.
Hanya kepada-Nya aku bertawakkal

i'm grateful because i have the most amazing friends in the world
that keep me so close together so i don't have space to crack up

i'm even grateful because i have the imperfect family
that taught me what to do in crisis
that taught me that there's better things than break down and cry

what happened?
oh well,,
let's just say,
what i've always afraid just happened

this is why i keep us out of the spotlight at the first place,
this is why i only tell few people, and i even regret it now,
this is why i always hesitate to respond when you said those three words..

i can't say "i didn't see this coming" because i saw it, clearly.
what i don't know is,,
is that you saw it too..

what i regret is,
why you still did this,
why you didn't tell me you were hesitate too,
so that i could be more confident about my feeling,
more confident to said "no" at the first place,
and maybe i could help prevent all of this from happening

cause it's not fun,
it maybe what's best,
but it's not fun.

to tell you the truth,
i can't say that i put my faith on us,
i can't say that you're the one,,
but i thought it was just temporary,
that my feeling would change along time,

oh well,,
apparently not.
as far as i know for now.

oh well..
now i'm grateful that i trusted my feeling not to tell everyone
cause now there's only few people to be delivered the bad news to.
it's still too many tough.

yaiks..

-ohwell..-

A great friend is..

the one who do not laugh when his/her friend asks a stupid question...





thanks for answering and for not laughing, mate..

-It'sNiceToHaveAFriend-

Be Polite (And Mean It) Please...

Mungkin udah pada tahu, salah satu cara untuk memiliki perilaku terpuji adalah dengan membiasakan diri mengucapkan "3 magic words", yaitu maaf, terima kasih, dan tolong..

Memang sudah cukup banyak yang melakukan itu,
mengucap 3 kata sakti tsb,, tapi kadang terlihat sangat "palsu",, ngerti ga?
Jadi ngucap, sekedar ngomong aja, he/she doesn't really mean it..

And sometimes it bothers me..

Ini bukan postingan pertama gw yang membahas ttg orang yang mengatakan sesuatu yang tidak dia mengerti, yang bukan sebenarnya yang dia rasakan, dengan kata lain, tidak jujur.

Dan gw cuman pengen ngasih tau dan memperingatkan aja,,
.
.
It shows...

Kelihatan lho, kalo lo ngomong sesuatu yang lo ga bener2 ngerti, yang lo ga bener2 rasain,,
dan di mata orang lain, itu tidak akan berdampak baik..
and sometimes it could also hurts,, ouch..




Anyway,, gw lagi kesel dengan orang2 yang mengatakan 3 kata sakti tsb,
but doesn't really mean it..

Pernah menjumpai atau bahkan memakai kata2 ini:
"Sori"
"Trims"
"Plis"
etc,, (the 3 magic words slang)?


Ehm, Let me tell you something...
.
.
.
Those are not even real words!


Okay, maybe those words still could be used in spoken conversation, but please,,
DO NOT use those words in written conv,,
use a real word ,,
and yes, that includes on SMS

Cause it just doesn't feel right,, it feels phony and like you didn't mean it..

What on earth is the word "Sori"?
you can say "Sorry", or even "Maaf",,
but "Sori"?? Nooo....
you're apologizing to someone, and you're not even using a real word..
please..

And "Trims"?
There's "Thanks" as an abbreviation of "Thank you"
but there's no "Trims",,
and no, it's not acceptable as an abbreviation of "Terima kasih"..
just say/write "Thank you" or "Terima kasih" like a real polite person do..

And what more could i say about "Plis"?
You could just say/write "Please" or "Tolong",
you're asking for help here,, the least you can do is being polite..

Just so everyone know,
I used those words,, back then, when i was young (halah, sok tua :) )
when i still have my over-the-top ego,,

Honestly, I didn't feel like i was being raised in a polite environment,
my parent's hardly say those three magic words when i was a child,
well, now they do, but it's kinda late don't you think? But it's ok,,

So i learned it from outside the house,
First I know it's theoretically right to say those words,
but (maybe because i didn't used to hear people say it)
it's hard to start doing it myself..
I felt like i was too good to say that stuff,
yeah right, who was i?

But now i know, it's nice to be polite,
it doesn't make you less respected,
it even increase you're self esteem..
And plus,, it helps make the world a better place

So..
unless you're a teenager with a raging hormones
and you're saying that stuff to other teenager,
please, do not use those words..

If you want to be treated like a mature and polite human being,,
than be one, be the real one and mean it

-It'sKillingMe-

setelah sekian kali mencoba pijet...

gw masih ga ngeliat dimana enaknya dipijet..
.
.
.
don't get me wrong,
I mean, yeah, pegel2 emang ilang sih.. dikit.. :)

Tapi gw ga ngrasa satisfaction kyk orang2 lain
yang kyknya menikmati sekali dipijet..

Belakangan ini gw mengalami pegel yang berkepanjangan di daerah punggung,
dicurigai karena membawa beban berat dalam jangka waktu lama (yea, emang kuli si :D)
it's been more than 1 week, and i've been to 2 different places for massage,
and it's not working..

yeah, mungkin gw nya yang salah tempat kali ya,,

yang pertama gw ke suatu salon - he, ya, gw tau, emang tempatnya salah, hehe-
and ended up having a beauty massage -you know, with sauna service and stuff-
yang sama sekali ga menghilangkan pegel,
malah kulit gw jadi licin, tau deh, mau digoreng kali gw.. hehe..

Trus selang seminggu kemudian, gw manggil tukang pijet ke rumah,
ini atas saran nyokap gw,, tukang pijetnya dipanggil "nenek".
Oyea, "nenek" ini emang mijetnya jago, kenceng banget tangannya,
.
.
.
tapi,, it's bit too hard for me i guess,
yang ada badan gw malah jadi sakit2 smua.. >.< hua!!

oya, plus, neneknya mungkin lagi lalai potong kuku,
jadi ada bbrapa bagian di badan gw yang lecet2 gt deh kena kuku beliau,,

bottom line, gw malah babak belur :)

Haaaa......

padahal orang2 bilang gw jago mijit,
tapi kan gw ga bisa mijit diri sendiri, huhu,,
gimana ya?

Ada saran?
.
.
.
Maybe i should go to "Bersih Sehat" at the first place.. hmph.
enak ga sih dsana?




err... tapi kyknya masih lama deh,
tubuh gw butuh "pemulihan" dulu dari babak belur ini :D


-BuatAnakKokCobaCoba:)-

Iseng

Tegoda dengan hasil tesnya si nyt




hehe..



mm.. maxudnya apa ya? hehe..


Addictive content in my personality is 71%

Beware!!! people easily get addicted to me

Lets101 Quizzes - Blog Quizzes

-hmm-

Ehm..
I really don't know what to say,
I just hope this is gonna last,
with God's permission..

Just so you know, I pray for us,
hope you too..

and please, be true, be honest, don't ever lie..
'key?

Oh ya, yes, i do had a good time today :D

-HappyAndScaredAtTheSameTime-

Saya Sakit.. (Huhuhu...)

Saya sedang dalam perjalanan liburan ke Bali selama 5 hari,
dan pada hari ke tiga saya sakit.. huhu..

Pusing, badan lemes, dan tenggorokan sakit..
Sebel, jadi ngrepotin orang, apalagi nyokap sudah balik duluan..

Selama sakit, saya sempat berpikir bahwa
saya memiliki kesempatan untuk meninggalkan ibadah,
dengan dalih "Ah saya kan sedang sakit, Tuhan pasti mengerti"
walaupun sebenarnya saya masih mampu untuk beribadah

Namun lalu saya berpikir,
apakah dengan tidak beribadah,
lalu saya berpeluang lebih besar untuk sembuh?
Tidak.
Malah peluang saya untuk sembuh semakin kecil,
dengan mengurangi kemungkinan kesediaan Tuhan untuk menyembuhkan saya,
dengan menyia-yiakan kesempatan untuk menambah kadar keimanan saya,
pada akhirnya, saya yang akan rugi kan?

Akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk tetap melaksanakan ibadah,
paling tidak berniat untuk melaksanakan ibadah,
dan Alhamdulillah, Tuhan memang Maha Mengetahui dan Maha Kuasa,,
keadaan saya membaik, walau belum sembuh benar..

Dan beberapa waktu kemudian, saya memetik hikmah dari sakitnya saya..
Pertama, saya "dipaksa" untuk beristirahat cukup,
memang, selama perjalanan itu,
saya seperti lupa kalau tubuh saya punya batas,
kalau tubuh saya perlu istirahat,
mungkin karena terlalu excited ya,, he,,
Jadi, dengan sakit itu, saya disadarkan kembali bahwa
"hei, badanmu itu bisa capek lho nak,," :)

Kedua, saya "dipaksa" untuk menjaga makanan & minuman;

Saya "dipaksa" makan lebih sehat;
berhubung sakitnya saya menyinggung tenggorokan, jadi makan saya harus dijaga,
saya jadi hanya boleh makan makanan yang berkuah2 dan tidak banyak bumbunya,,
walhasil selama sakit saya makan nasi + sayur saja, kurang sehat apa coba? hehe

lalu saya "dipaksa" makan secukupnya;
yah, namanya tenggorokan sakit, kan ga enak makan banyak2,
lalu saya tersadar, selama disana memang saya makan agak berlebih,
(yah berhubung liburan,, he.. tapi ternyata itu
tidak bisa menjadi pembenaran akan kerakusan saya :) )

Dan saya "dipaksa" memperbanyak minum;
disana saya memang kurang minum,
yang ini saya punya cerita sendiri,
kan tenggorokan saya memang agak sensitif,
jadi seharusnya minum air hangat,
jangan air dingin, dan bukan juga air "biasa", tapi, air hangat

nah berhubung disana jarang yang menjual air hangat,
(yah, namanya juga kawasan pantai, yang banyak juga jual air dingin, atau air "biasa")
saya jadi malas minum,, he,, alasan awalnya sih biar
mencegah sakit gara2 kebanyakan minum air dingin,
tapi ternyata tidak minum sama sekali juga bukan solusi,
malah bikin masalah baru (ya iyalah,, hehe,, saat itu mungkin saya kurang berpikir :) )
jadi gara2 jarang minum dan banyak kegiatan, dehidrasi lah saya,,
na dengan sakit ini, saya jadi punya alasan yang kuat untuk
meminta (atau memaksa diri untuk memperoleh) air hangat, he..

Tuh kan,, semua ada hikmahnya,
mengutip kata2 yang gw baca di majalah,
"Kita memang hanya bisa melihat rencana Tuhan setengah2,
jadi bersabarlah, Tuhan pasti menyiapkan yang terbaik buat kita"

-It'sStillBecameTheBestVacationEver-