Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Its Not Right




"It's hard to wake up
When the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted
It's so pathetic
It makes no sense at all
I'm ripe with things to say
The words rot and fall away
What stupid poem could
fix this home I'd read it every day

So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when your dead and gone
Well you, you'll never guess
my twenty years now lost
Its not right

Their anger hurts my ears
Been burnin' strong for seven years
Rather than fix the problems,
they never solve them
It makes no sense at all

I see them every day
We get along, so why can't they?
If this is what he wants
and this is what she wants
Then why is there so much pain?

So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when your dead and gone
Well you, you'll never guess
my twenty years now lost
It's not right"


- Stay Together For The Kids / Blink 182


pic source

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Libur Lebaran kali ini...

....seru sekali..

banyak jalan2nya..

mulai dari Sabtu 27 Sept 2008 :
ke rumah Inyik, main kembang api..
yang ini memang acara mingguan sih,,
tapi krn tumben2an pake foto2, ya di upload saja :)

Sabtu270908.jpg


trus Minggu 28 Sept 2008
Bukpus bareng (sebagian) kurusetra..
di Sushi Tei, Senayan City,
seru2,, makan2, trus ke Timezone, trus ke TGA..


Minggu280908.jpg


trus Senin 29 Sept 2008
Nonton Laskar Pelangi sama tmn2 fasilkom,
di bioskop PIM 2..
minta tolong fotoin sm mas2 baik :)

Senin290908.jpg


Selasa 30 Sept,
jalan2 cari baju.. yang ini gada fotonya, he..
mulai nginep di rumah inyik..



Rabu 1 Okt,
Idul Fitri!!! Mohon maaf lahir batin..
Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin..
abis halal bi halal, tidur ampe jam 5. haha.. :p
Fiera ikut nginep bareng..


Kamis 2 Okt,
niat nonton Laskar Pelangi lagi sama T.Pretty, Fiera & Nisnos,
eh keabisan tiket, gile, rame banget deh PIM..
jadinya nonton Awake..
yea.. Jess Alba, Hayden C, play nice, i dont quite like the story though..


Jumat 3 Okt,
Makan siang di Satay Khas Senayan, Kemang Square,
sama Inyik, O.Alink, Omar & Emir,, oya, sama Fiera
Trus nonton Laskar Pelangi (lagi??, ha..)
kali ini sukses, walau dapetnya yang malem,
sama keluarganya O.Alink, sm Fiera jg..
Ibu ikut nginep juga..


Sabtu 4 Okt,
balik dari nginep..
I'm gonna miss this view..

Image001.jpg


.
.
.
.

ha.. what a nice holiday,
I spent much time with my big family, felt nice.. :)
Alhamdulillahirabbilaalamiin..
Thank You Dear God..
.
.
.
.
.
. but umm....


tugas2 gimana ya?

HAAA... kapan gw ngerjainnya???

:D

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Emotionally Abused

yea, ok
you can say he's not that bad
whatever.
cause you won't hear any words i said,
what else could i do?

this is the tricky part,
he didn't do any physical abuse,
what he did was an emotional abuse.
and it wasn't easier -if not harder- to be deal with,
cause I don't have physical proof,
I can't show you any evidence,
if i could tear up my heart and let you see,
what damage he had done to me, emotionally,
maybe then you'll get it.

but unfortunately i can't,
what i can do now is express my feeling
with anything possible, that I'm comfortable with.
And when I do,
i would like you to listen,
pay attention,
and believe me.

Which you've failed to do.

i don't want this to happened too,
i dream about a perfect happy life,
but to simply look the other way,
doesn't solve the problem.
by not believing in it,
doesn't make it disappear.

I wish it was that easy,
but it'll be like there's something eating you alive inside,
and you just keep ignoring it, not believing that it exist,
then you just die.

No, i don't wanna do that.

I know you're hurt too,
yea, you're hurt too, yet you keep it quiet,
but don't expect me to do the same

I'll do whatever i can to make me comfortable,
cause i still have a life to be live in,
i still want to be happy.

so please don't drag me down
to the same quicksand that we're just get out from,
you wanna jump in again?
I'll say, "it's a ridiculous decision"
but you're so determine to do it,
so I'll say "Alright, just don't drag me down with you"

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Man, I Was Selfish!

saw you one night all alone,
and damn,
i didn't realize you're so lonely.

Sitting there all by yourself,
i couldn't tell that you're happy.

Were you relieved, or mad?
were you happy or sad?

what were you thinking?

and there it was,
suddenly i realized,
i was so selfish all this time,

you probably thought about all those lonely nights you might have,
all those scary possibilities,
all those memories,,

man!
i wasn't realize you were this lonely,
i wasn't realize that this thing is suckin' up all your life,
leaving only pain and agony
leaving you in the most difficult situation.

I'm sorry if i only add your misery,
me, not being supportive, not being helpful,
truthfully i'm sorry,
i didn't realize it was that bad..

So sorry,
wish i could be more helpful in the future,
at least show that i care,
so we could fix this thing, together..

-Man!-

Action Speaks Louder Than Word

.
.
.
yes they do.

please stop making him useless excuses,
i already know him,

and i know what he did to me, to us.
i feel the pain too.

I'm confused about how fast you forget about it
and agreed to take him back.

You said you haven't forget about it,
yet you don't show it,
and pretend like nothing happened.

.
.
.

Have your wounds heal already?
cause mine's haven't.

You said yours haven't too
yet you don't show it,
and pretend like nothing happened.

.
.
.

well, MANY things happened,
and you can't expect me to walk on with closed eyes like you do.
no, i can't.

.
.
.

You can said "he change, he's a better person now" a million time,
yet, still i can't believe it.

what i believe is what i see, what i feel, what i know,
what he did to me,
or maybe what he NEVER did to me.
and it hurts.

and don't blame me if i don't believe him right now,
because i don't
and i don't know if I'm ever gonna trust him again.

this wounds can't be undone,
this pain you can't took back,
i already know what's the cause, who's to blame,
so don't make me go back and feel it again.


.DontMakeAnyJudgementIfYouDon'tKnowTheProblem.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Finally..

I hope it's for the best.
I think it's for the best.
God, please help me get through
this phase of my life safely..

I'm very proud of my mom.
She just made a very big decision.
Please take care of us, Dear God..
For that, and for all your blessings
all i can say is thank You with all my heart,
yet i know it's not enough..

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Saya Sakit.. (Huhuhu...)

Saya sedang dalam perjalanan liburan ke Bali selama 5 hari,
dan pada hari ke tiga saya sakit.. huhu..

Pusing, badan lemes, dan tenggorokan sakit..
Sebel, jadi ngrepotin orang, apalagi nyokap sudah balik duluan..

Selama sakit, saya sempat berpikir bahwa
saya memiliki kesempatan untuk meninggalkan ibadah,
dengan dalih "Ah saya kan sedang sakit, Tuhan pasti mengerti"
walaupun sebenarnya saya masih mampu untuk beribadah

Namun lalu saya berpikir,
apakah dengan tidak beribadah,
lalu saya berpeluang lebih besar untuk sembuh?
Tidak.
Malah peluang saya untuk sembuh semakin kecil,
dengan mengurangi kemungkinan kesediaan Tuhan untuk menyembuhkan saya,
dengan menyia-yiakan kesempatan untuk menambah kadar keimanan saya,
pada akhirnya, saya yang akan rugi kan?

Akhirnya saya memutuskan untuk tetap melaksanakan ibadah,
paling tidak berniat untuk melaksanakan ibadah,
dan Alhamdulillah, Tuhan memang Maha Mengetahui dan Maha Kuasa,,
keadaan saya membaik, walau belum sembuh benar..

Dan beberapa waktu kemudian, saya memetik hikmah dari sakitnya saya..
Pertama, saya "dipaksa" untuk beristirahat cukup,
memang, selama perjalanan itu,
saya seperti lupa kalau tubuh saya punya batas,
kalau tubuh saya perlu istirahat,
mungkin karena terlalu excited ya,, he,,
Jadi, dengan sakit itu, saya disadarkan kembali bahwa
"hei, badanmu itu bisa capek lho nak,," :)

Kedua, saya "dipaksa" untuk menjaga makanan & minuman;

Saya "dipaksa" makan lebih sehat;
berhubung sakitnya saya menyinggung tenggorokan, jadi makan saya harus dijaga,
saya jadi hanya boleh makan makanan yang berkuah2 dan tidak banyak bumbunya,,
walhasil selama sakit saya makan nasi + sayur saja, kurang sehat apa coba? hehe

lalu saya "dipaksa" makan secukupnya;
yah, namanya tenggorokan sakit, kan ga enak makan banyak2,
lalu saya tersadar, selama disana memang saya makan agak berlebih,
(yah berhubung liburan,, he.. tapi ternyata itu
tidak bisa menjadi pembenaran akan kerakusan saya :) )

Dan saya "dipaksa" memperbanyak minum;
disana saya memang kurang minum,
yang ini saya punya cerita sendiri,
kan tenggorokan saya memang agak sensitif,
jadi seharusnya minum air hangat,
jangan air dingin, dan bukan juga air "biasa", tapi, air hangat

nah berhubung disana jarang yang menjual air hangat,
(yah, namanya juga kawasan pantai, yang banyak juga jual air dingin, atau air "biasa")
saya jadi malas minum,, he,, alasan awalnya sih biar
mencegah sakit gara2 kebanyakan minum air dingin,
tapi ternyata tidak minum sama sekali juga bukan solusi,
malah bikin masalah baru (ya iyalah,, hehe,, saat itu mungkin saya kurang berpikir :) )
jadi gara2 jarang minum dan banyak kegiatan, dehidrasi lah saya,,
na dengan sakit ini, saya jadi punya alasan yang kuat untuk
meminta (atau memaksa diri untuk memperoleh) air hangat, he..

Tuh kan,, semua ada hikmahnya,
mengutip kata2 yang gw baca di majalah,
"Kita memang hanya bisa melihat rencana Tuhan setengah2,
jadi bersabarlah, Tuhan pasti menyiapkan yang terbaik buat kita"


-It'sStillBecameTheBestVacationEver-

Friday, December 21, 2007

When You're Gone..

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you


-Avril Lavigne, When You're Gone-

God,, even music can't calm me like the way it used to.


-Hhh..-

The saddest part

The saddest part is,
how all these things become silent witness,
of all these madnesses..

The saddest part is,
knowing that you're there,,
that you're not here..

The saddest part is,
why you only took little of these stuff,
but you left so many memories..

The saddest part is,
knowing that we have to be strong,
and knowing that we are..

The saddest part is,
the way everything seems to be normal,
when i thought they would changed..



-MasaBerkabung..-

Thursday, December 20, 2007

So this is how it feels like..

Okay, points taken, lessons learned.
Now I know how nice it is to just not look at the problem.
To just look the other way, like it's never there
so that you could enjoy your life for a while.
cause it is just so nice to forget,
forget the fact that you have problem..

.
.
.

....And..
as painful as it sounds
i know i should wake up and deal with the problem eventually,,

..But can i just have a little more time to dream?

..And little more wishes so the dream could come true..?

-MyWordsBounceBackToMe-

Thursday, September 27, 2007

sedikit merenung..

Kadang suka lucu ya,, seberapapun dewasanya lo,
dimata orang tua, lo tetep aja anaknya.
lo tetep aja seseorang yang lebih muda puluhan tahun,
lo tetep aja orang yang pernah pipis dicelana,
yang pernah diajarin megang sendok & garpu,
yang pernah dimandiin, walau susahnya minta ampun..

mungkin untuk orang tua sendiri agak aneh ya,
ngilat si anak itu, yang dulu diajarin ngeja A-B-C,
sekarang baca buku setebel2 ganjelan kursi..
si anak itu, yang dulu nulis "pizzang" dengan maksud nulis "pisang",
sekarang nulis2 makalah ratusan halaman..
si anak itu, yang dulu diajak belajar nyetir2an mobil sambil dipangku,
sekarang udah bisa nginjek gas & remnya sendiri..

hhh.. kadang suka kesel juga sih,
sebagai orang biasa, gw suka kesel kalo pendapat gw mulai "ga dianggep",
kalo dipaksa nelen kata2 gw sendiri,
kalo mereka mulai sedikit memaksakan kehendaknya..

he, tapi gw ngerti kok, deep down, they only want to protect me from any harm.
they'd been living in this life way earlier than me.
maybe they don't want me to fell the way they did.
yet, hey, sometimes a person need to fall down to get up, right?

-...-

Monday, July 23, 2007

Another Bliss..

Kemarin, gw sekeluarga besar makan siang bareng di Restoran Yurako di daerah Kebayoran Baru. It was nice, yah agak hectic dikit, maklumlah rombongannya banyak bawa anak kecil, haha..

Terus habis itu, kita bareng2 ke Johan Photo Studio, rencananya mau foto kakek gw sama cucu2nya, hehe, cucu2nya udah pada janjian pake baju sama,, Nah disana kita masih harus nunggu dulu. Diantara proses nunggu itu, yang gede2 ngobrol2, becanda2, yang kecil2, lari2 sana-sini, duduk2 di tangga, halah, tu ruang tunggu jadi penuh deh pokoknya.

Trus udah, akhirnya giliran rombongan kita, masuklah para anggota ke studionya. Hiya lo,, kayak kumpulan kelereng lepas :D. Seragam2 gitu, baju putih-biru garis2, kecil2 berseliweran, untung pas udah mau foto ketemu semua, kalo ada yang nyempil kan gawat :D..

Dan dimulailah proses pemotretan. Jadi, kakek gw punya 12 cucu. Yang tertua umur 22 tahun ini, dan yang terkecil umur, emm.. brapa ya? antara 2-3 taunan gt deh, hehe, maaf deh, umur sndiri aja mungkin gw bisa lupa kalo ga afal taun kelahiran :D. Long story short, jadi di studio foto itu cuman ada 4 orang yang umurnya 17 tahun ke atas; kakek gw, kakak gw, gw (yay! :D), ama sodara gw 1 lagi. Yang berkisar kelas 5 SD - 1 SMP ada 3 orang. Yang kelas 1-2 SD ada 4 orang. Nah sisanya dibawah itu. Semangatlah mas2nya ngatur pose. Yang udah ngerti sih oke2 aja, masi bisa diatur (walau pegel..) Nah yang kecil-kecil ? Semangatlah mas2nya ngatur pose. (n_n) Biar smua pada ngeliat ke kamera, orang fotonya pegang boneka Nemo, digoyang2in tiap kali mau nge-shot, haha, smangat yah.. Yang paling kecil tiap abis di shot, lari ke ibunya. Haha, padahal kan ga cuman sekali shot.. Wah seru deh pokoknya.. :D

Nah those kinda moment I cherish, seru banget, dan gw bersyukur banget punya keluarga kayak keluarga gw, Alhamdulillah, terima kasih ya Allah for this another amazing bliss.

Di perjalanan pulang, gw ga brhenti bersyukur dan mikir, betapa beruntungnya gw, punya keluarga yang orang2nya asik. Orang2 itu yang bakal nerima gw apa adanya. Orang2 itu yang bakal ngedukung gw apapun keputusan gw. Orang2 itu yang siap bantuin gw kapanpun. Kepada orang2 itu gw bisa ngungkapin sayang tanpa harus ada alasannya, tanpa harus malu2. Terimakasih sekali lagi ya Allah..

-senang!-