I hate men.

Grrh..
i hate men
they're so primitive.

-hiiih-

I'm Just A Human

I'm sorry if i was rude,
i didn't mean to,
i really didn't.

i want us to be normal,
maybe not like we used to,
but just like normal people.

but i think it's not possible,
not now,
my mind, heart, and pride won't let me,
see.. i told you i'm self-centered.

i have to give myself a time to grieve,
this wound won't heal in one blink.

so could you please stay away from me for a while,
cause these memory haven't fade away just yet.

one thing i know now,
I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me,
and relationship don't always have to work.

you can think what you want,
that i'm egoistic and childish?
i don't care.
I'm not perfect,
i'm just human,
i have my flaws.

-IAmJustHuman-

Begoo!!!

Gw baru saja melakukan suatu hal yang sangat bodoh, dungu,
dan berpotensi menyebabkan gw menderita malu yang teramat besar..

seriously,,
gila,
gila,
gila,
bego...!

..
.
.

hhh... tarik nafas..
buang,,



oke think.
what's the worst thing that could happen?
ehm,, beside i'll be the talked of the society,
i'll lose my face in front of some people,
i also potentially will be embarrassed for a looong time..

HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

b*doh.
dung*.
t*lol.

dudulllll!!!

-begobegobegobegobego-

let the time do the talking..

he's not ready for another relationship..

that's it,
that's the words that i think best describe what happened..
it took me 1 night to think that 1 sentence..

am i right? or am i not?
i don't know.
i really don't.

the soundtrack of my morning today is "Life Goes On" by LeAnn Rimes
"Oh life goes on, and it's only gonna make me strong.."

But then my friend came to visit, and we talked, heart to heart.
she said to follow my heart.
and now i'm not sure about what i feel.
i'm not sure about anything.

i wish life as simple as one-two-three or a-b-c,
i wish i could just say "ah tau ah" and walk away,

.
.
.
hhh...
God, please guide my way, thank You..

now only time could tell, what will this be.
oh i wish the process isn't going to be hurt.


-BlankMind-

Oh well,,

oh well,,
i always pray for the best to happen
apparently this is the best for now
according to You, God,
so what can I say?

All i want to do is grateful because i have You in my life,
You that Keep me from crumble and fall into pieces
You that Gave me this amazing maturity and calmness i don't even know i had
You that Allow me to experienced this journey
You, Who Know what's best for me..
You, God...
Alhamdulillahirabbilalamin..

HasbiAllahu laa ilaa ha illa huwa 'alaihi tawakkaltu
Cukuplah Allah bagiku, tiada Tuhan selain Dia.
Hanya kepada-Nya aku bertawakkal

i'm grateful because i have the most amazing friends in the world
that keep me so close together so i don't have space to crack up

i'm even grateful because i have the imperfect family
that taught me what to do in crisis
that taught me that there's better things than break down and cry

what happened?
oh well,,
let's just say,
what i've always afraid just happened

this is why i keep us out of the spotlight at the first place,
this is why i only tell few people, and i even regret it now,
this is why i always hesitate to respond when you said those three words..

i can't say "i didn't see this coming" because i saw it, clearly.
what i don't know is,,
is that you saw it too..

what i regret is,
why you still did this,
why you didn't tell me you were hesitate too,
so that i could be more confident about my feeling,
more confident to said "no" at the first place,
and maybe i could help prevent all of this from happening

cause it's not fun,
it maybe what's best,
but it's not fun.

to tell you the truth,
i can't say that i put my faith on us,
i can't say that you're the one,,
but i thought it was just temporary,
that my feeling would change along time,

oh well,,
apparently not.
as far as i know for now.

oh well..
now i'm grateful that i trusted my feeling not to tell everyone
cause now there's only few people to be delivered the bad news to.
it's still too many tough.

yaiks..

-ohwell..-